he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize