I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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