NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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