im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize