It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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