You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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