from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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