How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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