Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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