Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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