sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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