i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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