that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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