Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize