A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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