you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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