he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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