Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize