drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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