This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize