I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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