I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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