do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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