were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
smell my finger.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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