I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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