why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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