I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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