Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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