so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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