Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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