Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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