what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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