Screwed.edu
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
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