I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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