I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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