well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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