So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize