I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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