why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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