So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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