You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize