I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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