Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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