Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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