Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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