what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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