don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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