I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
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He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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