I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize