so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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